The Buzzword No One Explains: What it Really Means to Regulate Your Nervous System?
Hi dear one,
if you spend any time on instagram, you’ve probably noticed nearly every trendy post talks about a regulated nervous system. Yet at the same time I’ve seen nobody explain what it really means and how an ordinary human being is supposed to get there. Especially when life feels overwhelming.
Let’s change that.
It’s all about balance
Let’s start with the basics. Your nervous system is the complex network that governs how you respond to the world around you.
When people talk about a “regulated nervous system” what they really mean is a system that can adapt:
you become more energized when you need to perform,
you’re able to come back to calm when it’s time to rest,
you don’t get stuck in survival mode long after the stress has passed.
In other words, it’s not about being perfectly calm all the time. It’s about the ability of your body moving between activation and relaxation in a healthy rhythm. We still get stressed, sure, but our bodies know how to come back to the baseline.
Why does it matter so much?
Your nervous system influences every aspect of your life and health. Here are just a few examples:
Sleep
When your system feels safe, it’s easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. A regulated nervous system helps signal to your body that it’s okay to rest fully. But when you're living in a state of chronic stress, even if it's low-level your body stays on high alert, like there's danger lurking around the corner. This can look like tossing and turning, waking up in the middle of the night or feeling exhausted the next morning.
Digestion
The parasympathetic state, sometimes called rest and digest allows your body to absorb nutrients and eliminate waste efficiently. In a dysregulated state digestion often slows or shuts down.
The more regulated your nervous system is, the easier it is for your body to do its job with ease. You feel lighter, more comfortable, and your body gets the fuel it needs without so much struggle.
Immunity
Prolonged survival mode suppresses immune function. Your immune system is deeply connected to your nervous system. When you're in a constant state of fight-or-flight, your body diverts resources away from long-term health maintenance to deal with the perceived threat. In the short term, this makes sense. But over time, it can weaken immune defenses, increase inflammation, and leave you more vulnerable to illness.
A regulated nervous system doesn’t just mean you feel calmer, it also means your body has the space and energy to repair, defend, and restore. It's like switching from emergency mode to healing mode. The more your system feels safe, the more resilient your immune system becomes.
Mental health
When your nervous system is dysregulated, it sends danger signals to your brain, even when there’s no actual threat. That can show up as racing thoughts, panic, numbness, hopelessness or burnout.
A regulated system creates the internal safety that allows your brain to shift out of survival mode. It becomes easier to access clarity, optimism and calmness. Therapy, mindset work and medication can all help, but their effects deepen when your nervous system isn’t constantly sounding the alarm. Healing happens more effectively when your body isn't fighting to survive.
Relationships
Connection starts with safety. When your system is regulated, you can be more present, empathetic and responsive to others.
You're able to listen more deeply, express yourself clearly, be in the present moment with your loved ones without the constant worry, handle conflict better etc.
In contrast, a dysregulated system might cause you to shut down, lash out, or misread signals from people around you. This isn’t a character flaw, it’s your nervous system doing its best to protect you. The good news? As you learn to regulate, you create space for more honest and deeper relationships. Your body learns it’s safe to connect.
Resilience
A flexible nervous system allows you to recover from challenges rather than getting stuck in reactivity or collapse.
Life is never stress-free, but it’s your nervous system’s flexibility that determines how you handle it. A regulated system doesn’t avoid stress but just knows how to return to balance. You’re able to feel hard things without becoming frozen in them. You bounce back more easily, and over time, you build a deeper inner strength.
Resilience isn’t about toughness. It’s about regulation. It’s the amazing capacity to come back to yourself again and again, no matter what life throws your way.
How do you support a regulated nervous system?
So many of us try to address symptoms at the surface: “I just need more discipline” or “I have to think more positively”.
Sure, but when your body feels it’s under threat it’s not enough.
The good news is that regulation doesn’t require perfection or a complete shift in your routine. It requires consistent and gentle practices that signal safety to your body.
Here are a few powerful ways to begin:
Breathwork
Well yes, obviously I’m going to put breathwork first. However there is a reason for that. Think of breath as the remote control for your nervous system.
When you change your breathing pattern, you send a direct signal to your body about whether it’s safe or in danger.
To understand this, it helps to know a little about the vagus nerve:
The vagus nerve is the main communication highway between your brain and body.
It regulates your heart rate, digestion, immune response and relaxation.
When your vagus nerve is active your system shifts into parasympathetic mode - rest and digest.
Slow, deep breathing patterns, especially those with longer exhales activate the vagus nerve. This is why breathwork can lower your heart rate, reduce blood pressure, calm racing thoughts, relax muscle tension, improve digestion and immune function… Even just a few minutes of conscious breathing begins to shift your physiology.
Breathwork is also powerful because you can choose the technique that best suits you in the moment. It doesn’t require equipment or perfection, just consistency.
Movement
Gentle stretching or yoga, walking or dancing help release stored tension. When people hear movement they often think it means vigorous exercise. But any kind of movement counts, especially the kind that feels nourishing rather than depleting.
It increases circulation, delivering oxygen and nutrients to tissues, relieves muscle tension that keeps the body stuck in defence mode, stimulates the vagus nerve, lowers cortisol and other stress hormones and produces endorphins - your body’s natural mood boosters.
Rest
Deep rest is a biological need, not a luxury and especially not laziness. Short breaks, naps and quality sleep are all acts of repair. Stop thinking that you need to earn your rest and start listening to your body when it needs it.
Nature
Natural light, fresh air, green spaces or birds singing regulate stress hormones and support nervous system balance. You can always count on nature to do the trick because nature speaks the language of your nervous system.
Ritual and routine
Predictability and small daily rituals like morning tea, sunlight viewing, journaling or an evening walk help your system feel secure.
You don’t need a total life makeover, just a willingness to begin. And every small, compassionate choice you make sends a message to your body: “You’re safe and supported” so start here and let your body return to balance, one breath at a time.
With warmth,
Ema
Sources
Burg, J. M., Wolf, O. T., & Tschacher, W. (2019). Psychophysiological effects of slow-paced breathing in healthy adults: A meta-analysis. Scientific Reports, 9, 14563.
Laborde, S., Mosley, E., & Thayer, J. F. (2017). Heart rate variability and cardiac vagal tone in psychophysiological research – Recommendations for experiment planning, data analysis, and data reporting. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 213.
Pascoe, M. C., Thompson, D. R., Castle, D. J., & Parker, A. G. (2017). Yoga, meditation, and mindfulness: A comprehensive review of interventions to improve sleep and stress resilience in adolescents. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 815.
Hunter, M. R., Gillespie, B. W., & Chen, S. Y.-P. (2019). Urban nature experiences reduce stress in the context of daily life based on salivary biomarkers. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 722.
Bratman, G. N., Anderson, C. B., Berman, M. G., Cochran, B., de Vries, S., Flanders, J., … Daily, G. C. (2019). Nature and mental health: An ecosystem service perspective. Science Advances, 5(7).